Pupukea Road

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Faulty potty training

I’m not a clean freak. But I am neat. And smells bother me A LOT. Living on a dusty acre in the mountains also makes me pretty obsessive about keeping stain-forever red dirt out of my things. (We wipe our dog’s feet every time he comes into the house.)
Anyway, surf has been up, sun has been out, and it’s a weekend. It’s pretty safe to say we have been in and out of the house a lot. Even so, we always make sure our 6 year old Yorkie has enough bathroom time during the day. He hasn’t had an accident in YEARS.

But Friday afternoon after the beach, we came home to the biggest dog pee accident ever. A flood on the bed, followed by a traveling trail of thick, sappy urine that went across my house. It was like someone dumped a gallon bucket of yellow syrup on the corner if my bed. It was so bad that my (normally frugal) husband said, “We’re dumping the comforter AND bed.” (Not joking, he peed an equivalent of his body weight, it was THAT much.)

Wash it, you say? The comforter was machine washed TWICE on “heavy duty”, and it still smelled and had a stain. The mattress was 10 years old and folded like a taco when we carried it to the car – the telltale sign it was time for a new one anyway. (Seriously, it was like trying to shimmy a 200 lb piece of rectangle jello through the house – no structure what-so-ever.)

So we spent all day Saturday mattress and comforter shopping. No beach.

The very next day (Sunday), we went on a quick morning errand and came home to Armageddon. Our beloved dog had taken the biggest, watery poop in the living room (again, he must have pooped his body weight – at least!). We have wood floors so normally this would not be too bad to wipe up – except that my Roomba (automatic floor vacuuming robot) decided to drive over it and drag it ALL OVER THE HOUSE. Luckily (insert sarcasm here), it went across my area rug first, and most of it wiped off there. But not all of it. I found poop smears in every room. It was like someone painted the floors with it. And someone did – my Roomba.

It was so bad, Ross immediately scooped up the baby and headed outside – presumably to be out of my way. I think I had daggers in my eyes at that point.
The girls tiptoed onto my bed and I put them on lockdown there while I began the disgusting process of scrubbing and mopping. (You can bet I sprayed and diffused the heck out of my essential oils.) Then, just in case I wasn’t overwhelmed enough, Ross came running inside and says that the baby somehow got to the Roomba (that was outside waiting for him to clean) and – you guessed it – put poop in her mouth. Ummmm, what does SOMEHOW even mean??!!
I probably-too-roughly brushed her teeth with (non-flouride) On Guard tooth paste, scrubbed her down in the tub, turned on Elmo to keep her busy, then resumed the 3-hour process of scraping poop off the floors.

Ross reluctantly agreed to throw away the carpet and Roomba. No, it can’t be cleaned. We tried. There was poop in every crevice of the machine and every fiber of the rug. Thanks for asking, though.

So let’s total the damage: $1300 on a new bed and comforter and a loss of $380 for the Roomba and carpet that I’m NOT replacing. 😐 Expensive weekend!

Ugly picture of him – ON PURPOSE!